When the whole story started, I thought he was the one to put the blame on. It was much easier. After all, we often deny responsibility for our own actions. In my case, ignorance of certain human rules was part of the equation.
I wanted to cast the first stone but deep down, I knew I was the reason why it all began. The reason why my world started to fall apart. They were mere friends in the beginning and she needed affection but I was barely around most of the time.
He was the one who would make time to listen to her complains about my absence. I knew she was in love with me and I loved her too but I made the terrible mistake of taking her for granted. I grew up lonely, but trust me, this is no excuse.
I knew I needed to learn how to be affectionate but at the same time I thought I was making my girl stronger. My mistake! Obviously, I should have learned to be there when she needed me the most.
I love to think that the guy is my nemesis, he is part of my equation, my story and somehow, he had a role to play.
I’ve always asked God the Universe to teach me but I was not prepared to learn this the hard way.
Now I have myself to blame. Now, because of me, my girl is tired and irresolute. I wanted so bad to blame her but I knew I had to own responsibility for the things I did, those things I should have done and the feelings I should have shown.
By Paterne Freeman Shadowriter
Photo Credit: Internet