In this room by cold neon light, I sit with myself and wonder.

When you shutdown your life for a person, Making sacrifices of a lifetime to help build a life together, when you make a commitment to stand by someone come storms and high waters only to discover that they’ve been playing you all way long, something inside of you breaks.
That’s how you wake up in the middle of the night wondering what to hold on to, the pain, the memories, the lost dreams, the time you’ve wasted or the next move.
You then go on asking yourself questions and trying hard to understand couple of things…
I’ve always wondered what relationships are meant for. The reason behind the coming together of a man and a woman. Because that’s where the question lies.

Of course I’ve never been very good at human relationships but there are things that don’t require a PhD in psychology to grasp.

To love, grow and build a life together, to have fun, to help live, to share moments be it good or bad, to embrace sunset and moonlight together,  to talk to constellations and live a crazy life while building an empire, these are some of the reasons why people like me get involved into relationships.

Of course it does change from one person to the other but there are some of these core expectations and values that never change no matter the environment.

I have come to understand the sad reality that most people get involved into relationships without being ready and not knowing exactly what they want. That’s how they make others pay the bill for their insecurities and uncertainties.

Although it is of pains and regrets most of the time, almost everybody wants to get involved into a relationship. And I can’t help but ask why.

In this room by cold neon light, lost in my own self embrace, I wonder if the trip is worth the trouble, the pangs, the sad memories and the bitter taste of Heartbreak.

Paterne Freeman Shadowriter, Memories of a Heartbreak.

Photo Credit: Pinterest